A quiz because gdi this is my blog

• I am a guy.
• I am a girl.
• I am trans*. Gender is a spectrum and I don't feel particularly well expressed by my sex, but surgery would be expensive, painful, and is not clinically proven to improve my happiness (or reduce my chance of suicide) nor would current medical procedures make my body be indicative of my gender. Most people don't feel like their outward appearance perfectly matches them inside and I don't feel like I deserve it more than them.
• I am shorter than 5’4.
• I think I’m ugly. not particularly attractive, but not terrible either. Definitely a "fetish" with pleasing features and unpleasing features.
• I have many scars.
• I tan easily.
• I wish my hair was a different color.
• I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
• I have a tattoo.
• I want a tattoo.
• I am self-conscious-ish about my body. 
• I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. (less than 5 times and it's never been anyone who wasn't working or tweaking; if you're getting paid to compliment me instead of work, it doesn't really mean anything)
• I have more than 2 piercings.
• I have a piercing in a place other than my ears.
• I have freckles.
• I’ve sworn at my parents.
• I’ve run away from home (to the other parent's house).
• I’ve been kicked out of the house.
• I have a sibling less than one year old.
• I want to have kids someday.
• I’ve lost a child.
• I have a job.
• I’ve fallen asleep at work/school. 
• I almost always do/did my homework.
• I’ve missed a week or more of school.
• I failed more than 1 class last year.
• I’ve stolen something from my job.
• I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
• Disney movies Everything fictional makes me cry.
• I’ve peed from laughing.
• I’ve snorted while laughing.
• I’ve cried from laughing so hard.
• I’ve glued my hand to something.
• I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• I was born with a disease/impairment.
• I’ve broken a bone.
• I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
• I’ve had my tonsils removed.
• I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
• I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
• I had a serious surgery.
• I’ve had chicken pox. 
• I’ve had measles.
• I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day. (8-12 times a year...)
• I’ve been on a plane.
• I’ve been to Canada.
• I’ve been to Mexico.
• I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
• I’ve been to Japan.
• I’ve been to Africa.
• I’ve been to Hawaii.
• I’ve gotten lost in my city.
• I’ve seen a shooting star.
• I’ve wished on a shooting star.
• I’ve seen a meteor shower.
• I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. (pants only)
• I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
• I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
• I’ve been to a casino.
• I’ve been skydiving.
• I’ve gone skinny dipping.
• I’ve played spin the bottle.
• I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. 
• I’ve crashed a car.
• I’ve been skiing.
• I’ve been in a play.
• I’ve been tech for a play.
• I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
• I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
• I’ve seen the Northern lights.
• I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
• I’ve played chicken.
• I’ve played a prank on someone.
• I’ve ridden in a taxi.
• I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• I’ve eaten sushi.
• I’ve been snowboarding.
• I’m single.
• I’m in a relationship. 
• I’m engaged.
• I’m married.
• I’ve gone on a blind date.
• I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper. 
• I miss someone right now.
• I have a fear of abandonment.
• I’ve gotten divorced.
• I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
• I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
• I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
• I’ve kept something from a past relationship. 
• I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
• I’ve been kissed in the rain.
• I’ve hugged a stranger. (during an almost rape)
• I have kissed a stranger.
• I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
• I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
• I’ve snuck out of my house. (to stand next to it)
• I have lied to my parents about where I am.
• I am keeping a secret from the world.
• I’ve cheated while playing a game. 
• I’ve cheated on a test.
• I’ve run a red light.
• I’ve been suspended from school.
• I’ve witnessed a crime.
• I’ve been in a fist fight.
• I’ve been arrested. 
• I’ve passed out from drinking.
• I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
• I’ve smoked.
• I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them. 
• I’ve eaten ‘shrooms.
• I’ve popped E.
• I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
• I’ve done hard drugs.
• I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
• I have 3 pills at a time no problem.
• I have been diagnosed with depression. 
• I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
• I’ve taken an anti-depressant.
• I have been anorexic or bulimic.
• I’ve slept an entire day without needing to go pee.
• I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
• I’ve woken up crying.
• I’m afraid of dying. (a little bit)
• I hate funerals. Funerals are not intrinsically bad, but of course I would not call the funeral of someone I had affection for good.
• I’ve seen someone dying.
• Someone close to me has committed suicide.
• I’ve planned my own suicide.
• I’ve attempted suicide.
• I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
• I own over 5 rap CDs. I haven't owned 5 CDs since 2003, 2004 maybe?
• I own an IPod or an MP3 player.
• I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
• I own something from Hot Topic. (wow shirts my mom bought for me in high school)
• I own something from Pac Sun.
• I collect comic books.

When people end a negative statement with a smiley face

I know before you were mainstreamed they told you that most people smile to exude happiness, friendliness, etc., but in this context, it makes you look like a psychopath.
fuck off and die :)
See?


EDIT: realized I used the same joke a couple entries down, leaving this up to shame myself

HEY EMERALD

I wonder who that could be...........

In case you've forgotten, the last time we talked you said that I only didn't like Macs because I didn't have enough money to purchase them.
And I wrote you the fuck off.
Talk to me if you've gotten over that bullshit.
Also update your flash.

From the robot

When was the last time you saw a guy and said "fuck, I want to eat his sweaty asshole until I cum and then suck on his delicious toes while I schlick myself with his jockstrap?"

Never, that's right, because you don't get off from sex itself. You get off from the validation it provides.

^^^ this is a quote I'm leaving here so that I can actually write why it's fucking so horrible
I had written some stuff and it was just trash, so it's gone.

For now I'll leave it at "getting off on validation is not a sex specific trait and, while anecdotes are not data, I've masturbated many times while sniffing a male's dirty clothes and fantasizing about eating his asshole".

Openraid reviews I can't leave

The first raid leader I've ever had to mute on openraid. Either he's paid off all the positive comments here or people just love to hold hands with a festering pile of mediocrity. No one needs to be told not to walk off Kologarn's platform because "you'll fall and die" and certainly no one wants to hear that they shouldn't fuck up a mechanic because it will "upset" him. (Really? You think your feelings are going to motivate a group of 24 strangers?) You can't blame him for being mainstreamed too early (I'm defining "too early" here as "ever"), but you also shouldn't be lulled into a false sense of security by painfully nice ratings from fellow aspies.

Great tank and raid leader. Dealt with some early faggotry justly and swiftly. Makes me wish that battletags had already been implemented in WoW because if he hadn't known my full name, I would've offered to pay him to read lists of insults over vent.

No heroic spine kill at 30% nerf. Full green quality set of carefully matched plate-bikini leveling gear on a blonde, female blood elf holy pally. Would not recommend.

Kited Nef's adds in phase 1. Was the second most common cause of wipe (first being cinders because swimming 10 yards is real tough). After 2 hours, the rl asked him why he had died that attempt and he replied "I get stunned and then they eat me alive!" Oh well, good golly gosh, that's okay! What were you supposed to do? Avoid mechanics? Learn to not kite around Ony's tail, you fucking retard.


most likely tbc...

Treading water

http://www.theonion.com/articles/americans-enjoying-3-months-of-vegging-out-before,28569/
This would be my life if Wilfred, Louie, and Awkward hadn't started. And you know, Workaholics isn't too bad this season and at least the premiere was as good as the peak of season 2. (Even though I'm kind of only tuning in for Adam... and damn Ders is cute with a beard.)
It's a weird time, when Diablo means so much more than WoW and I'm all caught up in whether Jenna is ever going to dump that piece of shit and get back with Matty. Seriously, Jake is anthropomorphized feces and why can't she see that?
Making okay money doing the normal stuff + Diablo, although I need to get home and get real serious about farming. (I've spent like 3 weeks total now since release doing shit for my mom, although she pays me, and now I'm stuck in Maryland for almost two weeks.) Start putting in 40 hour weeks and make that show money baby.
Thinking more and more about flushing this stuff (and preserving it for my own edification) or at least doing a real, real thorough scrub, so get your jimmies rustled before then. I've read some stuff from those fat updated years that makes my skin crawl. Anything past the middle of year 15 is pretty hard to read, although it helps with any doubt I have that I really didn't have any friends but Brittany.
Really Mercy, you told everyone when I lost my virginity? Glad old Chrissy wrote that shit down. Although, let's be honest, if the world worked how it should, it would've been something to celebrate.
Because fuck you guys, it was exactly what I wanted my first time to be and I don't regret a single second of it, besides telling fucking anyone I was "friends" with, aka talked to so I wouldn't have to sit in the bathroom during lunch any more than I did. Sometimes I hope they've grown up and realized that intercourse is as biologically necessary as shitting, but really, I'd rather them all be dead.
(lol like I don't think that about almost everyone I've ever met)
And it really is silly how vehemently I hated my first boyfriend after he rightfully got sick of an almost year long relationship at 16 and rightfully wanted to move on. I thought he was so horrible when he was really so harmless. I feel almost nothing at all about him now, other than regret at not fucking him more when he was cute ('cause goddamn, that boy was ridiculous) and never being able to actually enjoy what we did because my vagina was still the size of a pin.
Then, of course, the next one was so unfathomably worse. I will never again fall in love with someone based on one picture.
Because, jesus christ, if I had had any idea what he actually looked like...
Well, it would've saved a lot of time getting to know that he was just as ugly inside.
I mean, I can't exactly blame him for how he grew up, but let's just say it was a very painful way to learn an important lesson. (Namely, that you can't mistake obsession for love and that first fuck syndrome is dangerous and, if the world worked the way it should, fatal.) I just wish he had actually been suicidal because the one unresolved thread is that he's still out there and, while maybe he's changed for the better, it's very likely that he's inflicted his psychosis on someone else. At least he's straight right? Can't get too concerned about girls.
I don't regret being with him because, to a lesser extent, I needed to learn what he taught me, and of course, I would have never met Alex without him and some Asian kid who was into slow growth (and another reprehensible fatty).
And Alex, of course, is just the best and, if we stay the same or change together, I could do this forever. Just me and him and the elephant.
But yeah, read all you want now because a considerable amount to all will be gone soon to eventually.

Yeah, I can't sleep

For years now, I've bragged about my ability to fall asleep at any time, offering the always helpful advice of "lying down and closing your eyes" when others complain of insomnia.
And I'm finally getting my comeuppance. Not insomnia by any stretch of the imagination, especially when it's still very difficult to wake up after 10 hours of sleep, but a few weeks of restlessness.
Lie in bed until I have to pee, repeat.
It's particularly annoying because I've been lying myself down at reasonable times, so I can naturally wake up at equally reasonable times, and I'm continuously thwarted by my own body. I really think I naturally sleep on a rolling day of 15+ hours of wake and 12+ hours of sleep, but that doesn't fit into Earth's rotation, so I'm kind of fucked.
Actually, it'd be totally reasonable for me to live like that if being awake during the traditional hours didn't make others swell with completely undeserved pride. (Although, I do have to admit that being consistently up for grocery shopping, visiting the bank, etc. is nice.) I understand why we have the traditional day and why it falls at the hours it does, but it's a disgusting display of widespread ignorance that so many people refuse to believe that rational, productive people can't live on different schedules.
I can't help but think that this is all because I left my sleep mask at my mom's, or at least I certainly hope it is. I might have to go back to my old serotonin/nyquil days, which to be honest, weren't terrible ones.
Oh wait they kind of were. Not that bad to live through though.
Nah, I'll just take some benedryl and pass out like a baby, I'm sure.